Skip to main content

THIS FEELING..

"Its not that I do not want to be happy.Its a despite how hard I try,I can't bring myself to be happy.I feel suffocated,ashamed,disappointed,embarassed,disillusioned.Why do I have to feel this way?
I have great people in my life,yet all I ever see is sadness and gray.Its is like there is a burden on me,pulling me down,no matter how much I try to scream,it chokes the life in me.

No matter how much I try,I cant bring myself to care about anything.Not him,not her and never me.Living has become this constant nighmare..Its not fair!!Society will tell me to try yoga,go for a walk,listen to meditation.I tell them that this cannot be solved by meditation,its a disease that has gone too deep into my soul.I can't get it out!!I just can't.Every time I try to explain,I am met with blind hesitation.

People ask "Why are you always so sad?" I tell them I don't know.I don't know!!What I do know is that I wake up every morning feeling like shit and that has become my norm.I am afraid of the world.I am afraid of putting my guard down in the fear that I will be judged for something I cannot control. You think I love to watch myself fall apart?You think I like to see myself fall into this pit of self hate and shame?So I hide my feelings,I put up a wall so high you will never see my pain.I create this character.She is perfect,she is invincible.
I live my double lives..one for the public,and one for me,because it is easier than admitting I have a problem...and that's the problem.

I look at people being happy,and I feel the sharp pain of my disease attacking ferociously.No,I am not depressed,but what I'm I?The society is harsh,it judges brutally.Can I get out of this?Can I really be brave?Can I smile and just be happy genuiney?No,I can't.I am tired of living this way,I am tired of living without a purpose.The vacuum is too wide,nothing seems to fill this void.I can't take it anymore.I must go,I must leave this world of sorrow.No one will ever understand my pain.Perhaps,I will be happy in another lifetime."

Speak out,it will lift a million problems off your shoulder.Be brave,and tell your story.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SLAY KING

There is always something to say about women,but rarely about men.At this time in history,there is a bunch of words and reference for everyone.Apparently slay queen is a very common word used to refer to a certain category of ladies. But just like woman is to man,so is  slay queen is  to slay king. Incase you are confused,lets see who a slay king is: TRENDY. A slay king has a fashion sense. He is that lad you will see walking past the supermarket and you will like him without even seeing his face. He has a funny hairdo that matches his character. CHATTY. He is always on Instagram,whatsapp and facebook with catchy posts and vibes.He uploads very nice photos,the kind that any woman will stare at and wonder wether he is for real.This type of guy will never blue tick you and he will never miss your calls.He is socially available. BROKE. He is ever broke and Jobless but has expensive stuff.He is that guy that will never have airtime on his phone but has bundles to bombard l...
Post a Comment
Read more

FIND YOUR HAPPY PATH

There are things that I don't believe in.Like infidelity and violence.Seriously,its really hard to just ignore this two and live on to the future.Women have become victims of this two monsters at a higher perecentage but the society expects them to hang on and have faith in their marriages and relationships. No,please don't tell me to have faith.The shoe hurts and its difficult to take another step.Give me another shoe or I will just walk barefooted.I mean,violence is sugar coated with names like "slaps of love" or "just a little discipline". Its unbelievable how women have accepted this vice and made peace with the intentions. Ask any woman why she won't leave after the first slap and she will tell you that you know nothing about marriage.Yea!you damn right I don't know your definition of marriage ma'am. Women have accepted cheating,they are not even bothered by any selfish behaviour from their partners.They will cause drama and throw tant...
Post a Comment
Read more

WELCOME!

How are you? Welcome to my blog. Its all about inspirations to help us get through life. Well if you are reading this, you must be looking for something better, some spice to make life sweeter. I am too!! I believe in life, I believe in every breath,do you?I love life, no matter how many times it has proved to be a son of a b.... biscuit, we gotta believe in it and what it offers. Enjoy your reading!!
Post a Comment
Read more